Fair Warning.
At approximately 5:25pm CST, I’m going to call every person in my phone to talk about my feelings and my existential dread.
Starting with sports fans who probably wagered on things like the coin flip and how long the singing of the Star-Spangled Banner would take, making my way to people who are probably shopping at Whole Foods because they’re ‘above this barbarianism’ and asking them if getting organic shiitake mushrooms is worth destroying the environment because of the amount of resources it takes to ship them to that store (and remind them Trader Joe’s has cheaper beer,) segueing to my friends who are watching movies with their girlfriends and checking their iPhones every two seconds to see the score while I text their girlfriends to remind them to take notice of how many times their boyfriends are checking their phones, next looking up all the people who are dumb enough to put their phone number on Facebook and calling them to see if they realize everyone can see it, and finishing by calling the only person I know who’s a Colts fan whose number I have and ask him if he ever has that weird feeling sometimes that isn’t quite deja vu, not quite synchronicity, but it seems like a certain moment or action is pre-destined and could that be the sign of a higher power or maybe that’s the proof of a multi-dimensioned universe/multi-universe timeline cascading on each other.
I look forward to talking to you all soon.
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